It isn't strange or uncommon for couples of young children to rarely have sex. In fact the hormones in our bodies keep our sex drive low after having a baby. Before birth control, this is what kept people from having babies too close together. So, it is completely normal to not be ready to jump back in bed when your doctor gives you the ok at 6 weeks.
However, after the babies grow into toddlers and the breast feeding stops, some of us still don't regain that lust we had in our early twenties. So, Dr. Pomeroy gave us some tips on ramping up our sex lives.
- Give yourself an hour or so before having sex to spend one on one time with your partner without technology. This will help you to unwind, reconnect and relax. Unlike most men, most women need time to clear their mind and let go of their busy day to be able to get in the mood for sex.
- Try to identify the things that stress you out or weigh heavy on you. Sometimes our lack of interest in sex has nothing to do with sex or our partner, but outside circumstances that are effecting our mood.
- If you don't think it is an outside factor and you are worried it is something physical have your doctor check your hormone levels. There is the possibility you have low testosterone levels and a small tweek can change your love life.
- Create a flirty game with your partner. You could have a jar and assign a color marble to yourself and another color to your partner. On days you are in the mood put your marble in the jar.
- Invest in toys. The Magic Wand came highly recommended from Dr. Pomeroy as a tool to help women become aroused.
- Don't count out that your husband also may need a little help with his sex drive. Try to have an open dialogue about what he wants and what he may struggle with.
- If sex is painful after childbirth, see a professional. There are things that can be done to help.
- Go to mojoupgrade.com. This is a site that will allow you and your husband to both take a quiz about what things you may want to try in the bedroom. Once you both complete it only the things you both chose will show up in the results.
There are lots of options and resources if you feel like your sex life is in a rut. And if you can't figure it out on your own, it is a great idea to go talk to someone. Whether it be Dr. Pomeroy or a marriage counselor, it can't hurt to talk to a third party.
I hope you all have a very romantic Valentine's Day!
Xoxo,
Jessica
