"I Am Enough"

Our very own super mom, Kim posted this on our Facebook page. I'd like to start with this:

"I wanted to expound on the topic from Monday's MOPS meeting regarding post partum depression and anxiety as well as provide resources for those of you who need more information. I think it is very important to delineate between postpartum depression and post partum blues. The latter of which is treatable with simply time or with the lifestyle modifications described by the counselor on Monday plus/minus therapy. It is a topic I am passionate about because of the devastating effects of the disease I have seen in the ER over the course of my short 7 year career. Fortunately for most of us, post partum blues and mild depression will be our only experiences during this time of our lives. It is important to recognize however when post partum blues turns into post partum depression and when mild situational depression turns into major depression as we know the health implications of untreated major depression and post partum depression are severe. Un-treated perinatal depression can lead to pre-eclampsia, early labor, and substance abuse. Untreated post partum depression can lead to failure to bond with your infant, substance abuse, obesity, and chronic life long depression.

There is NOTHING wrong with needing medication to treat your depression to give yourself time to heal and be able to develop the coping skills necessary to treat yourself with lifestyle modification and therapy alone. If you have major depression, you are UNABLE to simply just get some sunshine, get more sleep, go out with your girlfriends, and meditate to feel better. It becomes a fierce debilitating disease. Unfortunately there is a global stigma regarding mental health disorders. It is unfortunate because mental health disorders are a result of physiology that is often times out of our control. Just like we all have those friends who can seemingly eat anything and not work out and stay skinny as a result of their fabulous metabolism, there are people who are eternally happy not because they are "stronger" but simply because of their neurophysiology. Some of us have a finer balance in regards to our neurophysiology making us more susceptible to mood disorders. But know it is not your fault! You are not "crazy." This disease does not discriminate. I have see it cripple people who you would never have thought were susceptible given their training, expertise, and seemingly "having it all."

If you choose to find a therapist, I encourage you to find a therapist who encourages a multimodal approach to treatment. Meaning find a therapist who encourages lifestyle modifications, therapy, and in the appropriate setting pharmacotherapy. If you are seeing a therapist who only recommends a "holisitic" approach to treatment ONLY, you need to see a different therapist as major depression and post partum depression not simply post partum blues are SERIOUS medical diagnoses. Similiarly, if you are seeing a physician who recommends medication only and does not have a healthy respect for alternative approach to treatment of your condition whether it is back pain or mental health, you should be seeing a different physician. Therapy, yoga, lifestyle modification, chiropractic, acupuncture, massage therapy, etc all have their role in modern medicine. But just like no one should advocate cancer be treated with essential oils only, no one should advocate true post partum depression and major depression be treated with therapy only.

For any of you who are suffering with depression or post partum depression, know this:

1-this is not your fault.
2-you are not alone.
3. you WILL feel better.

When you break your ankle, if treated you will no longer have a broken ankle. If un-treated, you will have life long chronic pain and ultimately arthritis that will then develop into chronic knee and hip pain due to changing the way you walk to accommodate your broken ankle. Similarly, when you develop depression, it does not mean you will always have depression. If recognized and treated, you will get better. If untreated, you are at risk of spiraling into chronic depression. Trying to "handle it" or "shake it off" is not going to work. Reach out to your OBGYN. Like I said in the meeting, so much focus during the post partum visit is on the baby and routine physical health and recovery. Unless your scores on the Standard Edinburgh questionnaire flag you as being at risk, often times mental health is not discussed during your appointment. Advocate for yourself. If you feel more comfortable with your pediatrician, talk about it with him/her. They are also equipped to provide you with the support and resources you need to get through this.

There is an entire subspeciality of psychiatry dedicated to what is called "reproductive psychiatry." This means that after 4 years of medical school, 3 years of psychiatry residency, there is a additional fellowship training offered to obtain expertise in reproductive psychiatry. That is how complex this spectrum of mood disorders can be! So do not feel silly or weak for not being able to take care of things yourself.

Massachusetts General has an excellent synopsis of postpartum blues and depression. Their website also has an app you can download to your phone for those of you who asked "how do you know if you are affected?" It allows women to screen themselves multiple times during pregnancy and thereafter.

I hope this was helpful!"

Patricia chatting with us

Um WOW! How have we never talked about this before?! This is my 7th year in MOPS. I can count on one hand the number of meetings I've missed and we have NEVER had a speaker on postpartum depression and anxiety since I've been in MOPS. How did we miss this?! And under Kim's post, there has been an awesome flow of conversation on "what works for me" and "my struggle". This is amazing! Patricia Flores was our speaker on Monday. We began with some visualization to be able to listen to each other with our hearts. Patricia talked about the importance of taking care of ourselves. I AM ENOUGH. She got us talking and sharing stories. It was so eye-opening to me to realize that every single one of us has dealt with anxiety and/or depression either with ourselves or in our marriage! Why don't we talk about this?! She suggested this awesome yoga nidra meditation and this relaxation app for your phone. Every parenting book I've ever read suggests getting up BEFORE your kids and having a cup of coffee and time for yourself before the chaos sets in. That's my plan for tomorrow morning. But I can't do that anymore than once a week! But, that is so true, it really does help! Jan suggests this book: Change Your Story, Change Your Life. So, let's keep this conversation going!

In the meantime, check out these Birthday beauties! Celebrate we will!

Did you guys see Kristi sneak into the meeting! Yay! Look what she did!!!!

We've also had some fabulous play dates, thanks to our AMAZING play date coordinator ;-) Pick a Park Fridays are going well with Boone Park 2 weeks ago and Alpine Groves tomorrow. It's finally nice park weather! 

Conner's A-maize-ing Acres was so much fun!

Sky way "train" ride to Sweet Pete's for pumpkin cookie making!

I'm not a huge bowling fan, but the bowling girls night on Tuesday was off the chain!

Good Directions

Due to Hurricane Irma, our scheduled speaker for 'Technology and Your Children' had to cancel. So, our very own Doctoral-level Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Mae Barker talked to us about improving our children's adherence to rules and compliance. Mae came to speak to our group a few years ago. Half way through her presentation, she said "I need to be IN this group!" Soon after, she became one of us. So cool! How many times have you screamed, "JUST LISTEN TO ME!" this week? I can't count. Mae did an awesome job using personal stories, laughs and great advice to put a more positive spin on our parenting techniques. One of the most profound take aways for me was "You can never praise a child too much". Also, "Don't use your precious home time to punish for something that happened at school." Take a moment to write down 5 directions that you tell your child to do and they typically don't do it. Maybe you need to change the way you are talking to your child. To give GOOD DIRECTION to your child, you need to be clear, concise, calmly stated, not a question and with a nice "please". Instead of "Go clean your room" you can say, "Please put your clothes in the dirty clothes basket." Mae brought her children in for a live demonstration on implementing a reward program.

Mae's live demo

Here is her hand out for the technique

Mae recommends the book, The Power of Positive Parenting by Dr. Glenn Latham. I have it if you'd like to borrow it. It's like a work book and full of great tips! She also suggested these video clips with Dr. Friman. 

We celebrated the summer Birthdays of these hot mammas this morning!

Meilani came to her first meeting! Caroline was impressed with the sweet newbie!

We had a Saturday play date at the Amazing Grace Crop Maze this weekend. It was fun hanging out with the whole family and seeing other families enjoying some fall fun in the FL heat!